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Geek Down

26 Aug

The trailer is out for AMC’s adaptation of The Walking Dead, and it looks (ahem) dead-on. Other than HBO, is any network more suited to handle the material than AMC? The only real question is when AMC starts doing comics-style crossovers. Don Draper fighting zombies? Make it happen, AMC.

American Sociopath

20 Aug

Precious little Alex Bogusky. The most dominant adman of the early 21st, the logical Gen-X descendant of Don Draper, has a little crisis of faith going on. In a profile in Fast Company, Bogusky reveals that he wants to atone for the environmental damage he’s caused, directly, and indirectly in his career in advertising. He’s moved from Miami to Boulder, carries a reusable water bottle, and drives a hybrid. Most tellingly, the man who made his name with Burger King’s “Eat some meat, you faggot” decade has become a vegetarian. Fucking adorable, right? Except the article also brings in legions of former subordinates, and even a professional psychologist, who will attest that Bogusky is an honest-to-God sociopath, and Bogusky’s affectless response does little to demonstrate otherwise.

Burger King

Perhaps there wouldn’t be a story here if it weren’t for the fact that his success in advertising was virtually inseparable from his personality. Masculinity in the last decade has been defined by a power vacuum. Many macho icons from the past had already reached the point of parody and/or irrelevance, and the strawman threat of the metrosexual provided a convenient mirror for most male media portrayals of the decade to play against. Bogusky exploited this more skillfully than anyone, turning Burger King into a countercultural symbol of resistance against a vaguely defined threat to an equally vageuly defined sense of masculinity. Look through the defining checkpoints of douchebaggery in the last decade, and Crispin Bogusky + Porter was there. Did I even need to mention Axe Body Spray? Game, set, and match.

His newfound conscience makes no concessions to the fact that every aspect of his current lifestyle, which includes loudly trumpeting his dislike of capitalism, is financed by the tens of millions of dollars (yes, that much: homie was making NBA money) he made doing that which he finds ethically/aesthetically/karmically distasteful. Too many people without $15 million checks to throw around rationalize their participation in systems they find morally unpalatable on the grounds that they have no choice. The fact that Bogusky continued cashing his checks for years while doling out, in his words, “clever capitalist answers” only makes it that much harder for the person who feels financially coerced into doing something they hate to quit.

This is the world you made, Alex. Eat it up.

Cross Your Fingers For Guru

1 Mar

Unfortunately, this isn’t a joke: Guru from the legendary Gang Starr lapsed into a coma after suffering cardiac arrest, and is facing surgery right now. When I was 16, the only time I ever cut off of work early was the day Full Clip came out, and Premier and Guru were signing copies at the record store. While he’s not the most electrifying MC to ever rap over a DJ Premier beat, there’s a reason their chemistry was tight enough to last for six largely unfuckwithable albums (and a vault of non-album material that put anybody to shame). Pray to God, or Buddha, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but whatever you do, save your snark and wish him a speedy and successful recovery.

Phrases That Don’t Appear In Enough Plot Summaries:

22 Feb

“An expert in the art of political surprise sex”

We Never Could Have Predicted This Would Happen

19 Feb

Who knew that armed teabaggers with a grudge against the government would be capable of such a thing?

Remember, as long as you're not brown, it's "crime," not "terrorism."


I hope Grover Norquist is proud of himself.

Phrases That Don’t Appear In Enough Plot Summaries:

17 Feb

“squid-based deathstyle”

Did I Miss Anything?

13 Feb

Well, it’s been a year since I’ve posted, and in that time, I’ve found time to move to Austin, go through several major changes in my personal and professional life, and withdraw from posting on the internet.

But one thing that has not wavered is my love of tacos.

Also, I’m ready to come out of hibernation and start posting on the internet again.